Distinguishing Anger from Sadness

With a headline line that, it must sound completely illogical that anyone could mistake the two positions. Both are quite emotional and both can lead a person to act in an extreme way. But here’s how they can evolve into one and the same.

First, let’s define these two emotions:

  • Sadness– feeling or showing sorrow; unhappy, the condition or quality of being sad. Feeling sorry for oneself. It is OK to feel sorry for yourself but what does it bring you – more sadness. Ask yourself what you can learn from it in order that you grow and move onward.
  • Anger– a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility.  It is usually linked to poor communication. Who have you not listened to or who were you not patient with because they did not understand your communication? What will you change next time in order to learn from this?

When we feel overlooked, ignored or marginalized it becomes easy for us to fall victim to either or even both of these emotions. For some, it’s simply easy to raise their voice or sulk in a corner than to really discover the source of their emotions. While both are quite legitimate to have, it is also important to discover the true root of the emotion.

tears_of_sadnessSadness can be associated with many things; from the loss of someone close to the letdown of failing a final exam. How you handle each situation will determine the outcome. You first have to ask yourself, is there something that I can do to change that outcome? A death is final, so you cannot change that outcome. A quick note, recently I attended a service for someone that died very young. As a mother myself, I had a difficult time understanding how the parents remained so calm and frankly, normal during it all. Not knowing this young person well at all, I could only imagine what I would be going through if that were my child in the casket. I think I’d be an emotional mess! I couldn’t stay long, not because I had somewhere else to be, but my thoughts were getting the better of me which, in my opinion would not be helpful or supportive to the family. I don’t really know, of course, how I would handle that situation, but I hope that I would be able to keep my composure as they did. Hopefully, I won’t have to find out!

camelAnger, on the other hand, is the feeling of injustice including loss. The thought that something was wrongly done to us or the guilt of not having done enough can create a deep seeded anger within even the quietest of individuals. Anger can also be the culmination of many smaller events that were overlooked and allowed to fester with until an eruption point is reached. Instead of addressing the problems along the way, they were just tossed aside without remedy. To some this may seem like a good idea and a great way to avoid confrontation, but this is actually very harmful to you and those around you. As the story of the “straw that broke the camel’s back” goes; it was never about the weight of the individual straw, but rather the accumulation of all of the straws that had been placed on the camel’s back.

unwanted emotionsUnderstanding where the root of these emotions is coming from is vital for in determining how to handle the situation. Rather than allowing the festering of the wound to continue until the eruption or cratering takes place, face your sorrow, self-pity, anger or slights to avoid these types of situations.

Not sure about how to get started? Come talk to me at Goldwiser. I’m here Monday through Saturday 10 am to 7 pm and located at 24910 Kuykendahl Rd., Tomball, TX 77375. Let’s chat and help you to get some resolution! While you’re at it, bring your old gold, silver and platinum jewelry. Let’s get rid of some of the causes of your worries!

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