I am coming home to get married soon, so get your check book out. I’m in love with a boy who is far away from me. As you know, I am in Australia and he lives in Scotland. We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook and had long chats on Whatsapp. He proposed to me on Skype, and now we’ve had two months of a relationship through Viber. My beloved Dad, I need your blessing, good wishes, and a really big wedding. Lots of love and thanks.
Your favorite daughter,
My dear Lilly, like wow! Really? Cool! Whatever! I suggest you two get married on Twitter, have fun on Tango, buy your kids on Amazon, and pay for it all through PayPal. And when you get fed up with this new husband, sell him on eBay.