When a little child sticks their fingers in their ears and la la la’s so that they cannot hear what is being said, some may think that that is so cute. When an adult does the equivalent by shaking their head in an apparent attempt to appear agreeable to what is being said, well, that is not cute. Why do we waste our time talking to people that are just not listening? They ask for help and yet they ignore any advice that may have been given. Could it be that the reason they chose to not take the advice was that they were not listening in the first place? It is absolutely plausible and more likely probable. How can we be sure that the message that we are relaying is actually being heard and understood?
Ask Questions
While there are no guarantees, what I am about to quickly outline is how you can:
- Test the attention span of the person that you are speaking to.
- Test whether you are being heard in the literal sense.
- Test whether your message has been understood.
You see, life itself is a test and we all pass and fail many parts of it each day, but you should not be expending energy on someone that does not appreciate you or what you are sharing with them. Life is just too short to spend time on those that have no appreciation for you and what you do.
Engage Your Subject
One day you are engaged in conversation with a coworker. They appear to be attentively listening to you. That is until you slip in a question of what you just said. I know, it sounds so juvenile but it is really effective in determining whether or not you are just talking to hear yourself talk or to actually help or teach someone. To test the attention span you would make this question about one of the earlier conversation topics or details. Ask them to elaborate on it to determine their comprehension. It is actually quite simple it you really look at it like this. If they are listening they may actually be asking you questions in which you can test their comprehension. If you do this correctly and with finesse, they will never understand why you asked them the questions that you did and they may even exceed your expectations.
I love to talk and write and we can do much more of that together at Goldwiser. I am located at 24910 Kuykendahl Rd., Tomball, TX 77375 and I’m there Tuesday through Saturday 10am to 7pm but my store is open on Monday also. Let’s chat!
Gina Olson 