It’s seemed like everyone today didn’t have either a good night sleep or a good weekend, for that matter and they wanted someone to take it out on. I hadn’t slept so well myself, but I knew that was no one’s fault; I never sleep well. Maybe I was overly sensitive to the smallest of slights from others that I came into contact with. Or, maybe it was just the building of negativity that culminated into a feeling of raw nerves, exposed, which could be struck by anyone I came into contact with. Sounds catastrophic!
Hmmm, maybe I need to look at this more thoroughly. I had been addressing concerns to an individual that doesn’t seem too concerned about them and in fact makes accusations towards me, ugh, I think that’s the problem, but there’s more. Then discussing one of the problems with someone else, I essentially was told, “too bad, not my problem”, by someone I trust. Wait, what?
Maybe I would normally just brush these instances off or maybe push back slightly, but today, this felt like an assault coming from all directions. My normal reaction would be to either fight or flee the situation. Today I chose a mixture of both. Now one of the grievances lodged is from the person that HAS to remedy the problem; essentially saying that it’s my fault and the other is from one that normally has my back saying well I’m just too busy. All the while, I’m at work and can’t really do anything about this. Ok, so did I not ask sweetly enough? I used please and thank you in a communication form that we always use. No tone in my voice since it was all via text messages. So WTF?!?
Writing this out kinda gets me upset with both of them now; one for essentially blaming me for something that is his fault and that he is the only one that has power to correct it: the other for getting confrontational over something very trivial.
Here’s my take away: I can’t allow anyone to make me feel as bad as you must feel by allowing you to take my joy! Storms are brewing up ahead and the truth has already revealed itself. I am the only person that can make myself happy, sad or otherwise and who I started off my day as being before all these negative vibes came and attacked me is the person I am happy to continue being despite what anyone says! Go away negativity! There’s no place for you here!
Gina Olson 