Have you ever been standing in the middle of your living room vacuuming up cat hair and thought, “Man, this moment in my life would be so much better if my vacuum cleaner was made of 24K gold”? Like not all of it – just the parts that are usually metal or plastic. The bag can still be regular bag material. Well, here is some good news: The thing that would make your dream come true exists! And it’s for sale for only $999,999 on the Internet!

Here is a list and gallery of regular things that you can buy made of actual gold, plus links to the sites where you can make these reasonable purchases. No longer will you have to put up with regular headphones that are not made from 18K gold. Treat yourself to the $14,500 earbuds so you can hear Train the way they were meant to be heard. You deserve them. And throw away your disgusting plebeian plastic straws with the red stripes. Where did you even get those? McDonald’s? For only $850, you can purchase four whole straws that are made from stainless steel and overlaid with pure 24K gold. Now, that is luxury. Can you imagine drinking liquid through a straw like that? My point is: You don’t have to! You can buy these items online right now.

Why buy gold things that you can get for much cheaper and that probably work better when made of more practical materials? Well, let me ask you this. If you hit a golf ball off an 18K gold tee, will you be more likely to get a hole-in-one? Who knows! Will Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II come to your dinner party if you sprinkle 24K gold leaf crumbs on your jalapeño poppers or whatever? Only one way to find out! Buy gold stuff today. It might make you a better person! Na, just kidding! You’ll still be the same person just with stuff made out of gold!

What cool items do you have made out of gold? Ready to get rid of them? Come see me at Goldwiser! I’m located at 24910 Kuykendahl Rd., Tomball, TX 77375 and open Monday through Saturday 10am to 7pm. Just ask for Gina!

24K Gold Shoelaces – $19,000 for two


“When you purchase a pair of gold laces, they will be delivered by security and laced for you anywhere in the world.”
Mr. Kennedy

24K Gold Smoothie Straws – $850 for 4


“Each 8 1/2″ stainless steel straw is over laid inside and out with pure 24K gold and has a slightly larger diameter for any type of thick smoothie beverage… Sold in sets of 4 straws with exclusive 3D floating display case.”

The House of Solid Gold

24K Gold Extreme Mountain Bike – $495,000

“Named the “The Beverly Hills Edition”, this extreme mountain bike, also known as a “fat bike”, is handcrafted and overlaid with pure 24K gold… The custom emblem bearing The House of Solid Gold logo, ‘THSG’ is embellished and encrusted with over 600 Black Diamonds (6.0 carats in total) and 500 Golden Sapphires (4.5 carats in total). The one of a kind customized seat is covered in the finest chocolate brown alligator and absolutely beautiful. The one of a kind water bottle is covered in gold and accented with chocolate brown stingray.”

The House of Solid Gold

 Alberto Moretti 24-Carat Gold Shoes – $2,600
“Moretti created a pair of simple pumps for women and loafers for men made of velvet and covered in gold – and although the styles are a bit simple, the gold says it all.”

Alberto Moretti (via Luxury Insider)

Earbud 18 Carat Gold – $14,500
“A Swedish goldsmith in Old Town, Stockholm, makes the headphones by hand and the process takes around 5 weeks. 25 grams of solid gold are used for each pair of earphones, which gives the headphones weight as a large jewelry.”

Happy Plugs

$1,000,000 Gold-Plated Vacuum Cleaner
“The Hairball Your Cat Coughed Up This Morning Was Just Destroyed by the World’s Most Expensive Vacuum!”



Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s